This is a great re-post that really shows the true meaning behind quitting and staying quit. Relapse does not have to be an option! I was leaving the door open. I no longer will. We know we cannot control smoking. Surrender now!
A great quote from this is "Quitting smoking is a journey not a destination!"
Adam
Changing Your Mind is NOT OPTIONAL, Addicts!
From allsfair on 12/28/2013 8:44:36 AM
Quitting
smoking is easy: you just have to change everything - at least there's
no issue about figuring out what to change or how much...you have to
totally change your mind.
If you're new,
staying smoke free has to come first. I don't buy this notion that
relapse is "part of a stop smoking program." I never relapsed (slipped,
tripped or puffed, whatever), and I know many people who didn't. If you
already start off with the notion in your head that relapse could be a
part of your program, you're already making a reservation to relapse,
and guess what? Relapse you will.
However, if
you do relapse (and ANY smoking has to be considered a relapse, period),
it's not a moral deficiency: you just get right back to not smoking,
even 10 minutes at a time, but don't go into it with the though that
relapse is part of quitting.
Quitting is
quitting. Smoking (or relapsing) is not quitting, and never the twain
shall meet. Likewise, not smoking is not smoking - smoking at any point
isn't ever "not smoking," period, end of story.
So,
don't pick up and light up, even if your ass falls off, and you won't
smoke. That's the one and only "way" to quit: don't smoke. There is no
other "way."
Now that we have that out of the
way, what does it mean that you have to change your mind? You have to
change your mind back to that of a non-smoker. For a non-smoker, smoking
is never the answer to any issue, problem, celebration, task, stress,
etc. A non-smoker never has an excuse to smoke, because they just don't
smoke. A non-smoker isn't "quitting," an "ex-smoker" or someone who
"used to smoke."
As an addict, you didn't need
any reason to smoke - you just mindlessly puffed away every day. You
told yourself ridiculous stories about "enjoying" smoking and how it was
your "reward" or how it "helped you." That's just silly addict talk.
When
you are first quitting, and trying to change your mind, your addict
(who is a liar and wants to kill you) will produce all kinds of excuses
(in the form of "reasons") why you should smoke - if you start thinking
like a non-smoker again, these things never come up. This will be your
first indication WHY you have to change your mind. Who wants to keep
thinking about smoking?
There's no way to
"control" smoking or "controlling your quit" - this isn't an issue of
"control." Addicts by definition are out of control - and so were you -
you couldn't decide to smoke 1/4 of a cigarette every time, or only
2/day or only a pack every two weeks - you tried that many, many times,
but you couldn't do it. Even when you were deathly ill you had to smoke -
so why tell yourself stories now about "controlling your addiction" or
"controlling smoking?" Non-smokers don't have to "control" smoking -
they don't smoke, period.
So how do we change
our minds back to that of a non-smoker? It takes time. Time and work and
effort - it just doesn't happen overnight. You don't declare yourself
to "have arrived." What it starts with is a complete abstinence from
smoking, usually one minute at a time. and then up to one day at a time.
As time goes by, you will think about smoking less and less, until
you're not thinking about it at all - your mind is changing back into
that of a non-smoker. You weren't born smoking, so you are unlearning
smoking and returning to your original position: non-smoker.
Other
things to think about, methods, and strategies will appear to you from
people with long-time quits, or you will come upon one of your own
through working a daily program of complete abstinence and treating your
addiction with love and care - but again, there's only one WAY to quit:
don't smoke.
You will get the idea - there's
no declaring you are there, or finished, or finally quit or declaring
you are "forever quit" - you haven't done anything other than not smoke
since you woke up this morning - humility is more important than some
imagined accomplishment.
Neither can you rush
your way into a long-time quit (unless ripping the fabric of the
space-time continuum is an every day thing for you). This is a daily
path of RECOVERY FROM ACTIVE ADDICTION that you learn to follow, it's
not, nor has it ever been, a destination.
Take
care of yourself today. Resolve not to smoke today (even if your ass
falls off), and each day, one day at a time. Over time, things will be
come more clear to you. You will change your mind and one day will be
able to say you are definitely a non-smoker again...
Houston (Non-Smoker)
Day 3385
