Need to ramble a bit. Feeling alone. Having one of my rough nights. I won't be smoking or drinking, just feel I still need a shift in what I spend my time doing. This is when I used to binge drink, or smoke or relapse and feel sorry for myself. This is when I used to throw it all away if I wasn't already knee deep in all the bullshit. Now the most I do is eat ice cream bars and binge on Catfish tv show haha!
I've been focusing a lot on my marathon June 18th, but haven't been focusing on my music as much as I want to. When I think of my music, I think of wasted time. I think of wishing I hadn't wasted so much time. I think of my ear problems. All those thoughts ever do are make me hold on to negative shame. It keeps me from doing what I love and that's make music!
I need to take baby steps and record and work on my songs and projects. I have a decent job, decent money but it takes away from the time I want to be spending on formulating a career elsewhere and the things I love. That is life though right. Still gotta pay the bills.
Anyways, I just needed to process. Life is really good right now. I just need to keep track of my eating diet, do what I can with the running, work hard, play hard and start working on songs and recording them on my free time.
It all is a lot easier than I make it out to be!
Adam
No comments:
Post a Comment