QUESTION THE ILLUSION ~RP

From Traveler24 on 5/28/2012 10:52:05 PM 

 This is a question a lot of people ask who have quit for a appreciatable amount of time and then have gone back to smoking. So what is the answer? Is it because nicotine is so addictive? No it is not. Although nicotine is addictive, once you break the cycle, your body no longer needs nicotine to feel so called normal or nicotine normal. The addiction is arrested. The actual physical addiction plays the smallest part timewise. 

Is the answer because smoking helped us relieve our stress? Now that we don't smoke we are having a harder time dealing with stress? No again. Smoking doesn't relieve stress. It only relieves the nicotine withdrawal that was caused by the stress. When it comes down to it and a person is having a hard time staying quit or after they quit for any appreciatable amount of time and ends up relapsing. It all comes down to one thing. That person is still under the illusion that smoking does something for them. The truth is, that smoking does nothing for a person but relieve a false anxiety that the previous cigarette created. As long as a person is under the illusion. There is going to be danger in their quit. 

So ask yourself. What did smoking do for you? If you miss it now, ask yourself why. If you quit for a good amount of time and went back to smoking. Ask yourself why. It isn't because life is too stressful now or you had a bad day or that you just wanted one. Those are just justifications that get the cigarette back to the lips. The reason is because the illusion that the cigarette does something for the smoker is still there. While I'm not going to condone alcohol or drugs. Think about this. Someone drinks alcohol. They become intoxicated. Someone smokes marijauna. They become stoned A smoker smokes a cigarette. What happens? They temporarily turn off the fight or flight mechanism that the previous cigarette created in the first place. That's it. 

Someone pointed out to me that cigarettes actually do something and that nicotine releases dopamine which gives the smoker a kind of high. While it is true that nicotine releases large amounts of dopamine, it is also important to understand that the brain has turned down it's own sensitivity to releasing dopamine, because of this. Meaning that the smoker is now relying a lot more on the cigarette to "feel good" or more accurately, feel "nicotine normal". The more a smoker smokes. The more that nothing seems to happen. Except that they temporarily get to feel that inner peace. The cruel trick though is that non smokers are already there.

Smokers have been performing this ritual for so long that they tend not to see this cruel trick. Even after they quit. Once a person truly understands that a cigarette does not relieve stress( it creates it), that it does not help them cope with their emotions during trying times ( it takes their focus off them), That it does not fill a void (it creates it). That it does absolutely nothing at all, but relieve a false anxiety that the previous cigarette created in the first place. Once the quitter truly understands this and believes this, they will realize that they are not depriving themselves of smoking, but freeing themselves from it. This will make the quit so much easier. 

Understand. You hate smoking. You hate smoking so much that you sought out a place that would help you quit smoking. You hate it so much that you voluntarily put yourself through withdrawal to break this cycle. After you quit though. Don't start thinking that you miss cigarettes or that you miss smoking. Don't start looking for solitude in the very thing you escaped from, because there is none. Nothing will change if you decide to smoke again. You hated it before you quit and you will hate it if you smoke again. The only thing that will change is that you were on the other side of the fence for a while. You tasted freedom and that only makes smoking taste that much more bitter. Don't give cigarettes any credit that they do something for you, because they don't. Maybe you occasionally think about that "one" cigarette. Don't forget though, about the tens of thousands of the other ones that put you on this board. Also don't forget, it one was cigarette that started this whole mess in the first place. There is no such thing as just one. Only the first one. KTQ, Bill D17

Changing your mind is NOT OPTIONAL, Addict....REPOST

This is a great re-post that really shows the true meaning behind quitting and staying quit. Relapse does not have to be an option! I was leaving the door open. I no longer will. We know we cannot control smoking. Surrender now!

 

A great quote from this is "Quitting smoking is a journey not a destination!"

 

Adam

 

Changing Your Mind is NOT OPTIONAL, Addicts!

From allsfair on 12/28/2013 8:44:36 AM

Quitting smoking is easy: you just have to change everything - at least there's no issue about figuring out what to change or how much...you have to totally change your mind.

If you're new, staying smoke free has to come first. I don't buy this notion that relapse is "part of a stop smoking program." I never relapsed (slipped, tripped or puffed, whatever), and I know many people who didn't. If you already start off with the notion in your head that relapse could be a part of your program, you're already making a reservation to relapse, and guess what? Relapse you will. 

However, if you do relapse (and ANY smoking has to be considered a relapse, period), it's not a moral deficiency: you just get right back to not smoking, even 10 minutes at a time, but don't go into it with the though that relapse is part of quitting. 

Quitting is quitting. Smoking (or relapsing) is not quitting, and never the twain shall meet. Likewise, not smoking is not smoking - smoking at any point isn't ever "not smoking," period, end of story.

So, don't pick up and light up, even if your ass falls off, and you won't smoke. That's the one and only "way" to quit: don't smoke. There is no other "way."

Now that we have that out of the way, what does it mean that you have to change your mind? You have to change your mind back to that of a non-smoker. For a non-smoker, smoking is never the answer to any issue, problem, celebration, task, stress, etc. A non-smoker never has an excuse to smoke, because they just don't smoke. A non-smoker isn't "quitting," an "ex-smoker" or someone who "used to smoke." 

As an addict, you didn't need any reason to smoke - you just mindlessly puffed away every day. You told yourself ridiculous stories about "enjoying" smoking and how it was your "reward" or how it "helped you." That's just silly addict talk. 

When you are first quitting, and trying to change your mind, your addict (who is a liar and wants to kill you) will produce all kinds of excuses (in the form of "reasons") why you should smoke - if you start thinking like a non-smoker again, these things never come up. This will be your first indication WHY you have to change your mind. Who wants to keep thinking about smoking?

There's no way to "control" smoking or "controlling your quit" - this isn't an issue of "control." Addicts by definition are out of control - and so were you - you couldn't decide to smoke 1/4 of a cigarette every time, or only 2/day or only a pack every two weeks - you tried that many, many times, but you couldn't do it. Even when you were deathly ill you had to smoke - so why tell yourself stories now about "controlling your addiction" or "controlling smoking?" Non-smokers don't have to "control" smoking - they don't smoke, period.

So how do we change our minds back to that of a non-smoker? It takes time. Time and work and effort - it just doesn't happen overnight. You don't declare yourself to "have arrived." What it starts with is a complete abstinence from smoking, usually one minute at a time. and then up to one day at a time. As time goes by, you will think about smoking less and less, until you're not thinking about it at all - your mind is changing back into that of a non-smoker. You weren't born smoking, so you are unlearning smoking and returning to your original position: non-smoker.

Other things to think about, methods, and strategies will appear to you from people with long-time quits, or you will come upon one of your own through working a daily program of complete abstinence and treating your addiction with love and care - but again, there's only one WAY to quit: don't smoke. 

You will get the idea - there's no declaring you are there, or finished, or finally quit or declaring you are "forever quit" - you haven't done anything other than not smoke since you woke up this morning - humility is more important than some imagined accomplishment. 

Neither can you rush your way into a long-time quit (unless ripping the fabric of the space-time continuum is an every day thing for you). This is a daily path of RECOVERY FROM ACTIVE ADDICTION that you learn to follow, it's not, nor has it ever been, a destination.

Take care of yourself today. Resolve not to smoke today (even if your ass falls off), and each day, one day at a time. Over time, things will be come more clear to you. You will change your mind and one day will be able to say you are definitely a non-smoker again...

Houston (Non-Smoker)

Day 3385

I didn't have any excuse to smoke...(RP)

I must be a giant wuss because I teared a bit at the end of this. I feel like this every day but I've relapsed so so so so many times...I know what it does. Sometimes you wanna give up. Sometimes you wanna throw it all away and in the moment you don't know what to do. When this happens the one thing I know I can do is KEEP THE QUIT! Stand up and work towards something bigger and better and keep movin forward!

REPOST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t have any excuse to smoke

From Mamzer on 6/10/2003 6:52:22 PM

I got up late this morning because the alarm didn’t wake me. Well if reality were known I most likely shut it off and went back to sleep. I had 15 minutes to get ready for work. I ran to the coffee pot, it has a timer, wife made the coffee last night. Looked at the pot, no coffee made, the timer was set to PM instead of AM. Turned on the coffee pot and headed for the shower.

Not much time so I jumped in the shower, soaped down, got shampoo in my hair, some in my eyes too, and the hot water was gone. Oh great, I forgot to turn up the water heater after turned it down to replace the valve that blew out and flooded the hallway last night. So after rinsing the soap off with cold water, I reached for a towel, oh no, I used all of them to dry up the water in the hallway, I use 10 washcloths and my robe to dry off. Well at least there is no steam on the mirror. I grab for my hairbrush that promptly falls into the toilet that I didn’t flush because I didn’t want the water to change temperature while I was in the shower. Fish my brush out with the plunger, make a mess but, no way am I going to put my hand in there. I left the brush lying by the toilet, I don’t have time to do anything about it now and nobody will use it if I leave it there. Comb my hair with a small plastic comb from the medicine cabinet, it has a few teeth missing and when I finish there even more gone, put on my wet robe and head for the kitchen.

The coffeepot has only hot water in it, in all the hubbub my wife forgot to the coffee in the strainer. I use the hot water to make instant coffee. Yuck, gag me. 

There is a pack of smokes sitting on the cabinet next to the range, a thought passes through my head, I could sit down here at the table light one up then call my boss tell him I’m sick and not coming in today, but NO, I can’t do that, I won’t do that. A quick look at the clock tells me I’m already 15 minutes late and I haven’t even started dressing. I head down the still damp hallway in my damp robe with my, yuck, instant coffee, into the bedroom to get dressed.

My pants are hanging neatly the closet, only two pairs still fit my amply endowed derriere, I look for those but they’re not hanging in there. I stuff myself into the biggest pair in the closet, two sizes smaller than I am now, I suck in my ever growing gut, get them snapped and pray to God the zipper holds. Then put on a huge Hawaiian shirt to cover up just in case, grab my shoes and socks and head back to the kitchen. I wouldn’t want to sit on the bed to try and put on socks and shoes, I might never get back up in these tight pants.

Back in the kitchen sitting in a chair, still gagging on the instant coffee, pants too tight and already digging into my belly, holes in the toes of my socks, putting on my shoes when "POP" my shoelace brakes. I tie the shoelace in a knot and look again at the smokes beckoning me to smoke just one. I decline, I’m now 25 minutes late. I skip breakfast, my pants are too tight for me to eat anything anyway, and head for my truck. 

The ride to work was the normal 45 minutes of insanity. People swerving in and out and all around, thousands of people wanting to do twice the speed limit with one or two wanting to do 10 mph under it, in front of them all. Two garbage trucks in a neck-to-neck race blocking two lanes of the interstate highway and my favorite a gravel truck in the so called fast lane spilling gravel in all directions and proudly displaying a small sign saying, (STAY BACK 500 FEET – NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CRACKED WINDSHIELDS), a sign that could never be read at that distance and if you are close enough to read it your windshield is already cracked or getting pitted. Why are these trucks on the highway during rush hour anyway? 

Finally I pull in to the parking lot at work and only 25 minutes late, but someone is in my usual parking space, I have to park a half-mile from the door. I hike to the entrance where in a cloud of smoke five of my smoking buddies stand. One says in a joking tone “Good of you to join us” and another “Good afternoon”. I think about bumming a smoke but go inside instead. 

I reach my office 30 minutes late, passed the bosses office he wasn’t there, I might get away with this. Oh great, there is my boss, sitting at my desk waiting and he really doesn’t look too happy. To put it simply, he wants to know why the France shipment is in Malaysia, the Marlow Bucks, UK shipment is in Munich, Germany and why I’m late. I mumble something about traffic jam, making up the time at lunch and tell him I’ll check the shipping forms. Could this all be due to CRS syndrome? Could I have been this out of it? Maybe I should just go smoke and get it over, no I can’t now, but I will later if things don’t improve. 

Things don’t improve, the messed up shipments my boss knew about were only the scum on the surface of a very polluted ocean of piss. 

I went down to talk to the guy in shipping, which sat outside on the dock and smoked while I tried to not smoke and explain the foul up. He offered me a smoke, my hand went out to grab and there it was, I wanted to smoke it, but I handed it back and laughed it off. As I left he told me the problem would be fixed in a few days, he smoked 5 cigarettes while I talked to him. I went back to my office smelling like I had smoked a few myself. Just what I need to smell like all day, I should have just smoked one with him. I sat down at my desk and spent the next two hours sending E-mail apologies.

Finally I can take a moment for myself and I need it bad, the first thing that came to mind is, I need to go smoke, always did after finishing a project. Oh well not this time, went for my new addiction, The QuitNet. I log in and start to update my profile page when my boss walks in and looks at me like, what the hell are you doing. I explained that the screw up was being handled and I was just taking a quick break. But the look was still there, that you think you deserve a break after coming in late a messing up all the equipment orders, look. I logged off the Q-net and started working on some broken computers, part of my job, the boss man walks away shaking his head, oh sure, it’s fine to go smoke for 15 or 20 minutes every hour or so but sit at my desk and do something not in the line of duty, God forbid. 

I am now in a piss poor mode and ready to smoke and not just one but a few hundred, one won’t help this and damn it neither will a few hundred. I’ll just wait and smoke later if I have to, maybe at lunch. Lunchtime at last, let’s see, go to lunch, or make up for being late, it’s go to lunch. Of course, the boss is in the lunchroom so I go outside with the smokers and no lunch. The smoke smells kind of good today, too good, I have to get out of here. I waunder back to my desk and start typing  my 100 day, Elder ramble. Somehow, someway, I make it to the end of the day smoke free. It’s time to go home. 

The trip home is the same as the ride in. Same gravel trucks, same NASCAR drivers in trash trucks, the same too slow people in front of the too fast and finally I home again. Grab the mail, all bills, the phone bill is due, the electric is due, the water is overdue, and the mortgage payment is now 65 dollars more a month then it was because the taxes went up. Maybe I should send in all of these credit card offers, I could use one to pay the other and maybe get by without paying anything for the next month or so, or I could mix them all up and send them all back to the wrong places, or better yet send them these bills. 

Wife, daughter and son-in-law are on the patio smoking, they all said they would quit if I did, I guess they were talking about something else. I join them and try to sit where the smoke won’t get me, maybe the moon. That’s it I can’t take any more, I reach for the pack and pull one out and stick it in my mouth, sure glad I have my Juicy Fruit gum.

Over the past 100 + days I have had several excuses to start smoking again and I could have used any one of them or none of them, but the truth is no matter how bad it gets there is no reason or excuse good enough to start smoking again or any good enough to keep you from quitting. Smoking will never solve any problem, it will only add to it. I didn’t have any excuse to smoke. So I didn’t

You Can't...(Gummer RP)

Plain and Simple!

Adam~D46~NOPT

REPOST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You can't...

From gummer on 10/24/2007 5:51:45 PM

.... lose a quit. You can only throw it away.

Conversely, a quit is not just going to happen for you... 

... you have to make it happen.

There is no luck... no accidents... no serendipity... involved in quitting.

You determine exactly what happens at all times.

And that is GOOD news.

Because this responsibility IS what makes it possible for any of us to quit.

Remember... it is all UP TO YOU. And it is all ABOUT YOU. And it is all FOR YOU.

Make it happen.

Gummer

An Open Letter from Addiction....(RP)

Simply put...Addiction is not a joke. You have to make that stand and take back control in your life or you'll forever be a slave until the day you die!

Adam 
d46 

REPOST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An open letter from Addiction
From judyinjersey2010 on 4/7/2012 2:10:42 PM
I destroy homes, I tear families apart. I take your children and that's just the start. I'm more costly then diamonds, more precious then gold, The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. If you need me remember I'm easily found. I live all around you. In schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street...maybe even next door...I am made in such ways..you can shoot, smoke or swallow me.

My power is awesome. Try me You'll see,, but if you do you may never break free. Just try me once and I may let you go, but try me twice and I'll own your soul. When I possess you, you'll steal and lie. You'll do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother, you'll steal from your dad. When you see their fear, you should feel sad, but you'll forget your morals and how you were raised. I'll be your conscience. I'll teach you my ways. I'll take kids from parents, and parents from kids. I turn people from God, and separate friends. I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride. I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything, your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be all alone. I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned, this is no game. If given the chance, I'll drive you insane, I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind. I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But then its to late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine,,,and we shall not part. You'll regret that you tried me. They always do, but you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told
but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold, You could of said no and just walked away. If you could live that day over now what would you say?

I'll be your master and you'll be my slave. I'll even go with you when you go to your grave. Now that you met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It's all up to you

I can bring you more misery than words can tell
come take my hand, let me lead you to Hell

The Fork in the Road....(RP)

Wow!!! Amazing post. Thank you so much! I got to that fork in the road and new I had to make a final decision...

live in permanent misery and die earlier from smoking?

or

live in temporary discomfort and live every day to the fullest and for a longer time?

I chose the latter!

Adam~D43~NOPT

REPOST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fork in the road.

I often think what I would be like today if I hadn’t quit smoking almost four years ago. I imagine myself walking up to the still smoking me who is now on oxygen standing out in the cold on the street smoking because that’s the only place you can smoke anymore. I walk up on this other version of me and simply ask why. I start yelling at this other me saying look at yourself your killing us. You stink you can’t hardly breathe your carrying around oxygen and you look like death.

That’s when the other you says in a raspy voice, there’s no point stopping now I only have a few months left to live. I have been diagnosed with untreatable lung cancer and with our health I have no chance of a transplant.

Why didn’t I quit when I had the chance the other you says through tears. Then the other you says the same lame excuses you once made before quitting. It was just too hard, I was under too much stress, I was going to quit when life calmed down.

Well you say to the other you, If you had quit look what you would have become. I go to the gym four days a week. I can run over two miles without stopping. I don’t smell like an ashtray. I get to do fun things like hike with my kids, ride my bike to work and all with little effort. I don’t have to carry that oxygen around and struggle for my next breath. With a little courage and a ton of will power this too could have been your future.

All you can do is shake your head at the other you and gladly walk away from what could have been your fate. When will that other you happen? How many chances are you willing to give that other you? When will the next slip be the one that finally decides your fate and now it’s too late?
Don’t be that version that has to face that future.

Stay strong dont let the other you win and NO MATTER WHAT… DON’T SMOKE!!

Wolf D 1393

advice for a friend...

This is advice I gave a friend that I thought would even be good advice for myself. We are always good at giving others advice, now it's time to listen to what we have to say for ourselves also!

Have faith, one day at a time. anytime you have a crave reach out, talk it out, wait through it. You know what the answer is for smoking. I've been there and done that too. I barely have the right to say these things but I hope it keeps hope alive for both of us. I'm still in the thick of it every day but I'm not giving up or in this time. Gotta keep on going. I told myself whatever it takes this time. no excuse in the world to smoke no matter how low or high things go, smoking has nothing to do with these things.

Adam
D43
NOPT