Accepting Discomfort is the Golden Ticket out of Hell (RP)

Simply put, the best way out is to ride the craves. Don't try and hide from them, accept them and realize you don't have to act upon them. Do not fear them, and they will come to respect the fact that you don't need them, and they will dissolve over time, knowing it is pointless to come knock on your door.

Adam

(RP)

We addicts really don't like discomfort. Sure, we endure all kinds of life stuff - divorces, hurt kids, job losses, bad bosses, etc. and we'd like to think we're tough dealing with all that.

But the fact is, when we start to crave that next sickarette we becoming really whiny babies on the inside. We can't STAND the discomfort and wanting...and we do whatever we need to do in order to have that temporary "fix."

Let me tell you a little secret about a successful quit for some of us.

ACCEPTING DISCOMFORT IS A GOLDEN TICKET OUT OF HELL.

Once I said it's okay to feel like crap, I don't have to DO anything about it, I don't have to react in any way to anything, I can lay here like a slug and just let the feelings wash over me knowing I will survive the discomfort (I mean, no one in history has ever died from a craving....though people do die from smoking by the thousands every day)....once I ACCEPTED that discomfort was a normal, natural part of the process and I was going to brave it.......everything got a lot easier.

You're not going to feel fabulous in 3 days. You're not going to feel amazing (consistently) in 3 weeks. 3 Months down the road you may have crappy days. Accept it and don't smoke anyway.

You WILL realize one day in the not too distant future that you are no longer uncomfortable, you no longer crave, and you made it to the other side.

ONLY if you don't take one single puff.

Hang tough....you got this!!!

Carly

d1066

It's Not Forever (RP)

I just needed this reminder today, and from no better person than Gummer can this message get across. Here at the beginning of my quit, I have to take everything with a grain of salt and keep reminding myself that I am here because I smoked for 18 years, not because I quit smoking. As time goes by, things will level out, and we no longer will have the need to try and blame things on the fact we quit smoking...which is a lie in itself!

Adam

(RP)

Gummer

==============================================

It`s not forever
From gummer on 8/6/2008 2:45:44 PM

This quitting thing. Really, it`s not forever. At some point it will become an event that you put behind you and wonder why you ever bothered to smoke for so long. Well, the answer to that is clear: addiction, plain and simple, that is the reason you smoked, and that is what you are overcoming now.

Will you be an addict forever? I have no idea. The thought can paralyze you when you first quit, that thought that you can never, ever smoke again. And there is some truth about that... you can`t. But what you do not see now is that after quitting (and I mean the whole process, not just stopping smoking) you most likely will find you do not want to smoke any more, so whether you can or can`t will not matter to you one bit, it will be of no consequence. It`s like I can`t jump out of a second floor window... do I really care? No. Well, it`s the same with smoking, I`m not going to miss something I have no desire to do in the first place.

So don`t let your current struggle and your fears about the future get in the way of success. Just because things are hard now, it does not mean they will be so in the future. You were born not smoking... you poisoned yourself with nicotine and got hooked... and all you are doing now is correcting that, returning to your natural state. It is a phase with a beginning, a middle, and an end. The act of quitting is a temporary event, an adjustment, and when you get through it you will get back to normal. And don`t tell me you don`t know what normal is any more -- you`ll now it well enough when you get there... when you no longer think about smoking, or about quitting.

Gummer

I Thought I Would Lose Everything (RP)

(RP) This reminds me to question everything and not live in fear of the unknown. Living in fear of the unknown kept me in relapse for 9 years and what has it done for me?.....not a damn thing but realize I want out, and to overcome all obstacles!

I thought I would lose everything From annemarieVT on 6/20/2011 2:08:38 PM

  When I thought about quitting smoking, I thought of losing everything. I thought I would lose my fun time ( cause I thought I was having fun) I thought I would lose my comfortable morning routine. I thought I would lose my friends and all those smoking buddies. I thought I would lose my resolve not to eat everything in front of me. I thought I would lose my wanting to enjoy life attitude that I thought I had. I thought I would lose my patience with the people that I loved the most. I thought I would lose my job cause being in sales and having no patience did not mix.

But I didn't lose anything !!!!

I gained (not just weight) !!!!

I gained a new attitude about what is really fun. Taking a deep breath. The new freedom from addiction. I gained a new morning routine that still included coffee. But an added walk around my property with the dog. And Yoga (my dog wants to join in this as well). I gained a confidence in making new friends cause I have a new self worth. most of my friends don't smoke. I have started on a new healthy path to eating better. I have enjoyed this immensely. And yes I have gained weight. I am working on this with exercise. I have gained a new perspective of me and the world I live in.

I have gained patience, ( I really thought this would be gone forever) I have the patience to listen to my son and my daughter tell me all about their lives. I sit there and I listen to them. I don't interrupt with my addiction anymore. It is amazing to just sit there and hear them. Friends and customers as well. I have more patience then I ever thought would ever have. I have gained time. Time for friends at dinner (without rushing them out the door so I could light up) I have hopefully gained a healthier lifetime. This we never know.

So don't ever think you're gonna lose, cause when you quit, you have everything to gain.
Jean d142

How to Stop a Pity Party (RP)

My biggest downfall as a serial quitter was the pity party. In my shame spiral of relapse, most quits not last more than 1-3 days, I would find the smallest of things or problems to dwell on, get angry and irritated about, in order to have a final excuse to light back up and hide from destiny. Here are some truths and coping methods to make it through and rise above the negative junky voice that tries to foil you into believing the lies of addiction.

Adam
 
(RP)

it can be fairly easy to drop down into a pity party when the craves are strong and long-lasting....i understand. I've been there. But to succeed in your quit, you've got to snap out of it before you talk yourself into a slip!

1. try a little humility. yes, it's difficult, but your addiction is not fiercer than anyone else's, your cravings are no more demanding, your struggle is no more epic. so you don't need to feel quite so sorry for yourself :-)

2. you CAN quit and keep your quit. positive self-talk is a must--say to yourself, "I can do this", not "OMG this is too hard, i can't"...every elder and long-time quitter here has wisdom to share with you; the keys to success are not secret. You just have to use them consistently.

3. try to see your moments of struggle as opportunities. As Booker T. Washington said, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."bake cookies for your neighbor, or send someone a thank-you card, or volunteer at a shelter, anything that takes your focus off yourself (and your cravings) and shifts that focus to the well-being of others.

now you get out there and kick nicodemon's butt today!

bd
d346

What does smoking do for me?

Smoking does absolutely nothing but Instills validation into the negative thoughts that bring me down and keep me in the confusion and limbo of Relapse-Land. Smoking enforces those thoughts but it is being applied to lies. Smoking is a lie. Smoking offers nothing in every situation. I have used it to punish myself and make myself believe that happy and healthy isn't possible. 

Emotional Coping Tools (RP)

Here are a few strategies I have found helpful when the emotional flood comes rushing in and it is fight or flight time. It's that moment where you used to go straight to the smoke to try and ease the pain, when in all reality I was only easing the withdrawal brought on by stress and the problem never goes away but starts again. Anyways, my most helpful ally has been my mind, and giving it the time throughout the day to take breaks and remember the reality of where I am at in life, what I am accomplishing, why I quit smoking what happens when I take one puff and what I can do to stay smoke free and make it through the moment on top!

Adam

(RP) 

Emotional Coping Tools I Have Found

From BilliB on 5/25/2003 11:56:08 PM

In an earlier post this evening the subject was brought up about the emotional connection and smoking. I have really watched this part unfold in my quit.

Since the early days of my quit, when I was in detox after 40 + years of smoking....... I am lucky to be so healthy as I am. In the beginning of my quit everything was CRS. Nothing made any sense and the cravings went up and down and I just had to fight my way through that part.

As the days, weeks, months went along I really watched my craving patterns. Each time I would really want to smoke, I found that I was being challenged by something in my life. I wanted that crutch, that little bit of reassurance that a smoke would give me. Never did I come close to lighting up, but the urge/thinking was pretty strong sometime.

Here are a few techniques I have learned and use to *follow the string of my emotions*

When upset, do deep breathing to get yourself back in balance. Focus on slowing down your breathing. When we are upset, we are moving fast with our emotions and need to slow down. We can't sort things out when our emotions are flying around uncontrolled.

Think about what is REALLY upsetting you. (not just that you had a fight with someone.......) What are you feeling ? the feeling that is deeper then the anger. Stop and figure out what is really happening on a gut level. Don't be a quick to blame everything on the other person.......

Stop all the negative talk in your head. Not easy, but that is the goal. Learn to think kinder thoughts about yourself. You are a good person and you would not be friends with someone who treated you as awful as you treat yourself.

Work with positive affirmations. What you think about, what you believe is what you bring into your life. Get excited about your quit, be sure to always honor how wonderful your life is without nicotine as the center of everything you do.

I hope these ideas give some thoughts to ponder during your quit. Life is full of new twists and turns all the time. As nicotine addicts we tend to reach for our *comfort stick* if even in our minds.

Smoking is no longer an option in my life. I smoked well over my quota and one day at a time, I make the choice not to smoke again.

Billi

I have never slipped...

I have NEVER slipped repost
written by Feziwig on 11/28/2006 9:40:17 AM

I have never slipped. Not once. I have never had just one. I have never smoked a cigarette and then gotten right back on the horse. I have never, ever slipped.

I have completely and fully relapsed. I have had one that led to two that led to three that led to months and months of full time, take over my life, smoking.

It may have been that one cigarette on a Friday night out with friends that felt so good after so long. Perhaps it was the one the next day because after all, if I had one on Friday and was fine, then I could certainly just have one on Saturday... and then it's Sunday and you know what? I'll quit on Monday... and now it's Monday and I may as well finish the pack.... and the next thing I know it's three months later and I'm always quitting tomorrow.

I have never ever slipped. I have never had just one. Ever.

I'm writing this for the newbies here. There will be an occasional post from someone writing that they have slipped and had one or two cigarettes but have gotten back on track. People will reply to them that it's okay and to just keep on trying to quit. That's the right thing to do. We need encouragement here. And for the people who have slipped and come back to try again, kudos.
However, for a newbie it may seem that slipping is almost accepted, that it's something that happens often and that it's okay. A newbie may get the impression that it may even be easy to slip and come back.

It is not. It is not by a long shot. In fact, it is probably harder.

If you feel like you can have just one and then come back and try again, please remember me. Remember that I have never, not once slipped. Remember that even when I thought I could just have one, even when I was sure that I could just have one, even when I knew that I could just have one, I have always, always, always relapsed. I have always gone right back to where I was before I quit and it takes no time at all to get there.
Like I said, I have never ever slipped.

Claire