Went to a garage rock show (Ty Segall and the Muggers) with some buddies last night. No drinks or smokes. my friends were proud of me and one guy said “I envy you, I want to do that”. Feels good to connect with people on that level.
It was still a bit of a mental struggle though. Went home a bit early and ate some garbage food. Better than smoking or drinking I guess but felt like I used it as a replacement and don’t really want to do that. Anyways, had a smoking dream and felt bad about it today and slept in. While in the shower after a jog I realized that instead of smoking in the dream, I thought twice and didn’t smoke and woke in nervousness before anything happened.
Anyways, just thought I’d mention it. Nearing 100 days again and that’s crazy, but I don’t want this to be the end of the line.
"I didn't come this far to only come this far"!
I’m not going back to smoking and I think my head is realizing that I can do it and want to be free and even in my dreams I don’t want to smoke or have the baggage that goes along with it. It would defeat the purpose…it would defeat my life’s purpose!
adam
D95
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