I've been through so much shit the last 2 1/2 months there is now way I want to go back through all that. I get thrown off that others are still relapsing, but I know I have to keep my guard up and connected at all times.
I know how horrible relapse is and how much better it is to be free. I'm still working every day towards this and not listening to the excuses but it has been a tough fight sometimes more emotionally because of all the relapse and suffering I went through.
Anyways, glad it's a new year. I've been struggling with the fact I'm quitting drinking, especially on a night like new year. Feel I couldn't let loose with everyone but I know I can't drink and had an NA beer and that held me over a bit. That's why I signed up for extra work.
My New Years resolutions are to become more spiritually connected with myself and surroundings, get my music up and running and fully active, be in nature as much as possible and get a hold on my money situation.
I hope you have a few things in mind though I know some people don't see it different as any other day. With my new quit I see it as an opportunity to celebrate and keep moving forward.
Any moment smoke free is a moment to celebrate!
Adam
D74
It's been my experience that leaving the door open a crack (as you appear to be doing) is a particularly bad idea with this chemical addiction. It will barge in like it owns the place. Few things in life are absolute, but maintaining a stout NOPE defense seems to be one of them.
ReplyDeleteIf you smoked, fine, start over with 100% commitment. You've achieved a lot and have nothing to feel bad about. A new beginning is not the end of the world, and it lets you keep the door firmly shut.
ReplyDeleteI haven't smoked and won't haven't left any doors open. My concept is just not being afraid to fail...this doesn't have to do with smoking
ReplyDelete... As in not afraid to fail testing out my music or with relationships or with training for a marathon or new job etc.
ReplyDeleteHappy new year I'm glad to hear from you hope all is well this will be a smoke-free and drink free year!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are doing well! Sorry I mis-interpreted what was happening. I saw you going wobbly, then you disappeared for a few days and when you surfaced you referenced a "new quit". Taken together that matched the heuristics of previous relapses. But you didn't! You are breaking down old behaviors with new (and better) results. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteit was a little vague of me and when I was writing it I was thinking it could be taken that way. I was just looking at other parts of my life where I've been putting things off afraid of success and failure whether music, relationships, jobs etc., and feel I want to discover more and not be as afraid of making mistakes or failing, because with quitting smoking especially, I've learned how much you can grow once committed to something.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!