"I'll quit in January" ~Repost

I'll quit in January...

From Jersey1 on 12/11/2006 7:42:58 PM

*********************************************

I'll quit in JANUARY; a brand new year. 

No holiday stresses, I'll be in the clear.

But January comes and what happens then? 

The bills all arrive! I need help from my "friend."

I'll smoke this one pack, it will help me get through. 

(But hey, in February, it'll be a new you!)

February arrives, time to set the new date. 

I'm ready to quit now – this habit I hate.

A few days go by, but alas, what is this? 

Valentine’s Day and no one to kiss?

I hate this damn month, it’s snow and its ice.

I’m lonely, I’m cold – boy a smoke would be nice.

So March comes along, I can surely quit now! 

I go buy all the patches my wallet allows.

I’m armed with my lozenges, fireballs and gum,

I’m chewing on Twizzlers and sucking my thumb.

But crap! I can’t do this. What am I thinking?

It’s St. Patrick’s Day – it’s time to go drinking!

And where there is alcohol and fun smoking friends

Is there in the tavern – and there my quit ends.

But hey here comes April! A new spring, a new start!

It’s now warming up, I feel strength in my heart.

I’m all set to quit now, got the patches back out,

Slap one on my booty – my resolve I don’t doubt.

Oh no, what has happened – it can’t possibly be!

The first warm day’s here, it’s 73!

My co-workers are meeting for drinks in the sun

And yes, once again, Nicodemon has won.

So May seems more likely, I’ll quit before summer.

I’ll work out for my bathing suit 

(feeling fat’s such a bummer).

Damn. I forgot that vacation I planned -

Margaritas are flowing, my toes in the sand.

You know that there’s one thing that would SO hit the spot –

Just a few little ciggies (I like them a lot).

Well June has arrived, and this time I mean it.

I’m sick of addiction; I’m ready to beat it.

I’ve been coughing so much, and my throat’s scratchy-dry.

Everyone asks if I’m sick (“yes” I lie).

Oh no – a phone call that all people dread.

A close family member who’s been sick is now dead.

Go to the funeral, everyone’s weeping,

I light up the cigarette I’ve kept for safe keeping.

I’m far too upset to think about quitting;

I’ll get to that next month (all things permitting).

July comes along with picnics and fun

And lots of Coronas, outside in the sun.

And everyone likes a good smoke in the eve

While you gaze at the stars and enjoy the warm breeze.

Well better enjoy it – this summer’s the last

Since I’m quitting for autumn, once summer has past.

(All August long I inhale the fumes

Smoke as much as I can as September’s quit looms.)

Here comes September! I’m totally ready.

My head’s in the game; I’m stable, I’m steady.

I pull out the patches that remained from the Spring

Won’t buy a new box yet (I’m on a shoe string).

I’ll invest in new patches once I’ve shown I can quit

Not wasting MY money ‘till I’m sure this one sticks!

Back to the Twizzlers, back to the gum,

Back on the Q, my mind’s getting numb.

Withdrawing again, seems the 10th time this year,

Why did I do this?!? I need a beer.

But I fight that urge and I really behave;

I’ve earned my 3 days now, I’m really amazed!

Oh hell, I’m hitting a tailgate on Sunday.

I’ll just have a few and then re-quit on Monday.

Well here comes October, autumn winds blowing,

Winds whip through the leaves, the air smells like it’s snowing.

Or so my friends tell me – I can’t smell a thing.

My nose has been stuffy – wow – since the spring!

Who cares about that, I’ll be just fine.

(Since when have I been someone who would whine?)

As for my quit, that’s not going so well

I mean who wants to live with that kind of hell?

I’ve decided that December 1st is my date.

Why? I want Thanksgiving to be great.

I want to enjoy a long smoke after turkey

Plus I’m entertaining – I need to be perky.

OK it’s December, the month of the quit.

I just don’t think I can put up with this $hit.

The holidays are coming, anxiety is high!

They're closing the books at the office – oh my!

Need a few more sales, put in extra hours,

Can’t focus on me right now, don’t have the power.

I need extra cash, Mom’s being a pain,

Cooking, parties and shopping, I need my brain!

Can’t afford to be sluggish, or grumpy, or tired,

I’ll ruin Christmas! I might just get fired!

So I’m thinking of New Year’s as the perfect date –

I’ll start the year fresh in a good mental state!

So there went the year – time passes so quickly…

Just realized I’m beginning to feel kinda sickly.

Remember this tale when you put off your quit

It never gets easier – you just have to DO IT!

*******************************************

Jersey