...This is how I feel today. I've been going through all the sludge over and over again. I feel I've hit rock bottom once again, but need to see it as my foundation. Things can only get better from here by me staying on my true and personal path. Relapse has been the same streets, same brainwashing and not moving on.
I started my quit at 1pm today. I'm happy about it but feeling the crave, withdrawal right now and especially the anger of all this addiction has taken from me. It's taken a lot of my pride, self confidence, trust, belief, money, health, time and love for myself. I've seen it as my "through thick and thin" over the years, but it is suffocating me and keeping me from the life I love and want to be a part of. Time to let it go like a bad relationship. Their are always residuals, but day by day things get better and better, and you start to naturally think about it less.
Addiction is always being controlled and having to think about it. Always feeling crazy like I have a problem. My problem is that I'm a nicotine addict and I connect it to all my emotions, and I have to break the chains that bind one moment at a time.
I'm thankful that I am going to bed smoke free and look forward to a successful day tomorrow! One day at a time!
Adam
D1
You got a detailed plan or you just gonna wing it?
ReplyDeleteJust trying to help you out here. After the adrenaline rush of the new quit wears off, what are you going to rely on? Whatever you've been doing for 10+ years sure as hell isn't cutting it. Try a plan. Or treat your life like a movie and write a script of how you want to behave. (Oh and follow the script). How can you relapse if you follow the script and the script doesn't say "hey lets smoke".
Do the work Adam. Stop taking the lazy approach.