I unfortunately had to stand up for myself and leave the house of the girl I've been dating because of an argument. It's been about a week since we started dating and we've had 3 roller coaster days out of the 4 or 5 we've hung out. I don't want to blame either side, let's just say we are having differences and it seems to point out a pattern that problems would seem to grow if we stayed together.
I'm going through a lot of things and I have already felt more negativity from this relationship than I want to. I'm not saying it's on purpose from her, but it is happening and I owe no loyalties at this point and have to look out for myself 1st and foremost....AND KEEP MY SACRED QUIT SAFE 110%!
I'm mentioning this because this is something I want to overcome no matter the outcome, without relapsing and being destructive to myself. I want to feel the achievement of making it through a tough moment victorious and doing positive things for myself instead of getting depressed, binge drink, binge smoke, feel sorry for myself and be angry at the girl. We still need to have a follow up talk, but I'm going to call things off. It's not working out for me and it's too much for me to take on.
I care for her already, so it makes this hard, but I have to trust my intuition and do what's best for me.
I'm thankful to be going to sleep nic and alc free! I pledge and promise to remain smoke and drink free for the day of 12.15.15 no matter what may come my way!
Adam
D56
always thankful
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