I'm thankful to have made it 2 weeks smoke and drink free. I took myself out to a movie and watched 'The Martian'. A great movie adapted from a book. It was funny and moving and just what I needed to keep strengthening my smoke free life. There are endless pathways and places we can find ourselves. I aim to never stop exploring life. I'll take it one moment, one day at a time and won't waste it anymore smoking cigarettes and feeling sorry for myself!
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A paragraph to see where I've been and where I won't go any more:
I've relapsed a million times. Always due to either emotions, or drinking or a combo of both. I had an 11 month quit in 2004. I smoked one cig when I hit rock bottom in 2015. Lost my job, my girlfriend, wasn't in school, wasn't pursuing my music. One cig and here I am 10 years later, 2 weeks quit....I've been dragging through the muck of relapse for and out of all my quits (longest 120 days since the 11 month quit) this one is the one I trust and know is my chance out of this mess! I'm at 2 weeks now and it's been tough, but I have you guys and I have the choice in every moment to stay smoke free and to keep moving forward!
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Just got home for work. That is a trouble time for me. I usually run off, get drunk and chain smoke. Instead I take a moment to get my head straight, post on Quitnet, contact a quit smoking buddy, say a prayer, drink some cold water, grab a lollipop and yell at the top of my lungs if need be that "I WILL NOT SMOKE TONIGHT NO MATTER WHAT!! FUCK THAT BULLSHIT! I'M SICK OF THE DAMAGE AND RELAPSE!!!!"
Thankful to be home and smoke free! Thankful to be moving forward and not in the shame spiral fearing life! KTFQ!
Adam
2weeks
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