I have candles and incense lit. I did a little meditation session tonight and would like to keep that going as a daily ritual. It really opened me up and connected me with the feelings that sometimes feel blocked but that need to be experienced and released. Started crying. I am gaining empathy for the pain that I have felt from the suffering of this addiction. It is a healing process. We've been through a lot and this is still new every day.
Never ceases to amaze me, how powerful this all is. Quitting smoking is like getting your life back. It is like being freed from an inner slavery you feel you had lost all control over. I don't know how it built so big, but I suffered a lot from this addiction and am now opening up to realize how angry I am towards it.
The negativity has always been channeled towards myself instead of the addiction. I don't deserve the self-hate. We don't deserve the self-hate. The addiction and all its back stabbing does. It deserves all of it.
I am thankful to be drink and smoke free today. I am thankful of all that I am learning and am proud of myself and the choices I have been making. I am thankful for my family, friends, house, job, nature....list goes on and on.
Most of all I am thankful to feel love for myself again and that I have a chance to share that with the people around me. I hope to heal old wounds with people I care about and to help those who are in greater need than I.
KEEP THE QUIT. It is the key to a balanced lifestyle committed to faith in ourselves, god, family and the world around us.
Adam
D20
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